A Certain Type of Insanity

I’m the kid who gets scarlet fever at 25. How does that even work? Rest assured, my Facebook is littered with reminders to bring replacement axles with me on my next trip down the Oregon Trail, but contracting this particular strep throat variant forced me to place myself on house arrest for the past couple days. It’s been interesting to take the time to think.

I’ve spent much of the past few days doing things that matter to me. Reading, playing video games, kicking around ideas for blogs and comics and stories. I feel more productive today than I have in a long time, though I haven’t actually accomplished anything yet. I watched Indie Game: The Movie, (also available with Humble Bundle 7 which you can get for free if you choose) a documentary about the production of three independent video games (all of which became gigantic successes) and was overcome with this idea that¬†Hey, I should be creating something, too. I should be doing something I’m passionate about, too.”

My mind lives in two camps: one that recognizes obligation, and one that recognizes dreams.¬†Yes, I have bills to pay, I’m an adult and should act as such. But more than ever I get the feeling that these dreams are more than pipe dreams, these goals are more than passing fancies.

A friend of mine just released his first solo mixtape (Mig Mora – Music for the End of the World; it’s free and definitely worth the DL) on the 21st. It’s one hell of a mixtape with great production value and some of his most well-composed lyrics yet, but more than anything it’s evident it’s a work he did for himself.

It’s so lame how people are so vain
they do for the fame, I do it to stay sane…

(Mig Mora – M.i.G.)

It’s an idea you’ll hear in plenty of rap, but you can really tell from his subject matter (growing up in Rockford, issues with his former band, conspiracy theories, government corruption) that he really means it. And as I listened to that album for the fourth or fifth time, I started realizing I’m surrounded by people who are doing real work. They don’t make excuses, they just make product. And the more product they make, the better they get.

I told my parents a few days ago when I was home for the holiday that I feel like I have a bug crawling around in the back of my head, that when I start trying to push myself towards things I’m not passionate about it starts tapping on things, driving me nuts until I get back on track. Seems creative drive is just a certain type of insanity, and I’m going to need to give into the madness a bit.

-Josh

P.S. Here’s a dose of inspiration for you, one that’s added a bit to my personal insanity…hope it does the same for you.