Paying for the Losses

Accountability is rough, particularly when you’re not doing the right thing. At the end of week one of my little project I hadn’t even broken even; I stood with 2 wins and 4 losses, a rather miserable record.

The week started with great intentions, a renewed vigor or some other nonsense, but then little things would happen that would take up time…a couple days I knew that I wouldn’t be able to complete ALL of my tasks for the day because of commitments, so I basically gave up on the day. I gave up for a few days.

I went running today, the first time I tried to do week three of the C25K running training program. This may be my fifth week of trying the program.) Each day this week I was supposed to exercise for roughly 30 minutes: 5 minutes of warm-up, followed by two sets of run 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds, run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes. When I’d done weeks 1 and 2 the way they were supposed to, they were challenges, but feasible. I’ve been taking time off running lately though; I got sick for a bit a couple weeks ago, and I’ve been using the “body, mind, or spirit” clause of my rules to focus on learning to play chess well instead of exercising.

I wheezed. I coughed. I felt like my asthma had come back from the grave, and it was ready to put me in its old place. I was in no shape to perform Week Three’s challenge.

That’s my current week, and it’s pretty shameful. See, I’ve learned that the objective of this program is to learn how to prioritize, and I seem to only prioritize when it’s convenient. Some days I would work out, but instead of running I’d do strength training, avoiding the heat of running midday. End result: my lack of focus is keeping me from success. 

I’ve dropped myself back to Week Two of the C25K program to try and train myself back to speed. And I’ll have to get everything right each day for the rest of the week to pull out of the nosedive of failure I’m in, but even so, I know I need to expect more of myself. The occasional L because I went out and had a few drinks with friends or didn’t have enough inspiration to write is to be expected, but these are the results of sheer laziness. These results aren’t good enough.



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