Imagine that you flip your TV on, do some channel surfing, and see a brand-new episode of Family Feud on the air. Steve Harvey calls one player from each side of the stage to the center podium, and provides the following face-off scenario:
“Alright folks, we surveyed 100 news media outlets and have the top 8 answers here on the board. I want you to come up with the most popular answer for this question: What is the most important topic in the news right now?”
Suzie, from the Parker family, buzzes in and answers, “Health care!” Steve turns around to face the board and says, “Show me…health care!” Number 6 flips over, revealing heath care as a low answer.
Melinda, from the Baker family, counters with “The royal wedding!” Steve shakes his head in shame amidst laughter and clapping from the audience. “Show me…the royal wedding!” Number 2 flips over.
Yeah, I just made this up…but does it seem that far from the truth?
Want an “accurate portrayal” of the state of America? Check out Family Feud. The Top 100 surveys obviously tell us things about what we think and feel as a people, right? Just check out this clip my mom showed me the other day:
- Obama was, in fact, born in Hawaii, as shown by his long form birth certificate. Because, obviously, if Donald Trump doubts the authenticity of the President’s birth, we most certainly need to investigate it.
- The royal wedding, featuring the royal family of a country we fought to leave 200+ years ago, took place at 4 this morning local time. People in my town held parties. I have no idea why.
Now, given, even with my pessimism towards marriage and whatnot, I’ve enjoyed my fair share of weddings. I would venture to say that weddings are exciting when one of two situations apply:
- The wedding involves people you know personally AND you’re happy for them. Everyone grins and talks about how fantastic the married couple’s lives will be. Hoo-ray.
- The wedding involves people you know/don’t know, you’re happy for them/think they’re making a terrible mistake AND there’s an open bar. Procedural note: It doesn’t count as an open bar if it’s your alcohol.
Perhaps some of you out there stayed up all night and are able to consider the royal wedding officially “exciting” now based on these standards. Congratulations for you; I almost stayed up until 4 in the morning yesterday because I’ve been bloody sick with the flu and was watching Powerpuff Girls on DVD. But that’s all really besides the point.
I can’t come up with any reason that the release of Obama’s long form birth certificate, a document which proves information that we ALREADY KNEW, should excite me. In fact, the idea that Obama had to appease the media circus by answering to Donald Trump’s idiotic questions is unexciting. Or should I say that it’s “exciting” in the sense that it creates a sensation, but the sensation is one of outright disgust. It’s appalling.
Trump, if you’re going to run for President, here’s the way to win: spend a ton of money, look good on camera, and get a great speech writer. Forget ideas like designing a positive election campaign, coming up with legitimate governmental reforms that can actually be implemented through presidential power, balancing the budget, or finding ways to decrease the country’s dependence on oil. It seems to be that all you’re concerned about is winning the election, not improving the state of the country (which I’ve mistakenly thought becoming the President was supposed to be about), otherwise you wouldn’t be wasting all this time attempting to disqualify your opposition instead of proving yourself to be the legitimately better candidate.
I’d like to point the Shame Finger (patent pending) at Trump, or even the news media outlets, but at the end of the day, the Shame Finger points strongly at the people who entertain this kind of junk as “important” or even minutely relevant. News corporations are out to make money, to “sell papers” so to speak, and if we as a society continue to buy in to this drivel, continue to be more concerned about royal wedding hats than health care, more worried about political sideshows than the main events that happen every day in Congress, well, we’re just getting what we deserve.
President Obama held a press conference this morning regarding his long form birth certificate. Watching the first 21 seconds reminds me of a phrase I first heard from a former co-worker and good friend of mine back in California: Many a truth is said in jest.